So this is my final request . If you could, I beg you, please, help me write a story. A story on your most significant loving experience. How you met, how your love bloomed, what you see in her/him, what you’ve done, how it started, how you want the future to be, how you think your love is different, etc. You would know how to write it, it’s your story!

I really hope someone does read this and respond . I really hope to have that page up on Valentine’s next year.  A toast to love!

*stories may be in any language and may be at any length

Of course you do not. Because all these while I’ve been the one to keep them.

It was wonderful. The past was wonderful. It is not any less wonderful in the present but what can compare to the dewy feeling of every unknown experience that gets me feeling like Indiana Jones on a stupid quest for mummies or whatnot. Because you don’t know. I don’t either. Every feeling is so strange , a little frightening ; yet the very ones I spill my excitement cup over. And every time that happens you give me one butterfly, two butterflies, three and four butterflies. Fluttering in the tummy of this love-struck girl. They never seem to find a way out. Queer for butterflies to find my stomach a viable habitat , no?  They won’t seem to leave. They won’t seem to die. They won’t seem to go even when I tell them to.

It is rather sickening , if you ask me, love. Pardon me if this, by any way at all, implies my lack of affection for you. Take my word that it is at no proximity to that. I just miss it. Miss what ,exactly? Everything. And as we are all fully aware of, missing is bad news. Not one person could feel blissful missing a certain something, because the heart yearns for it.Contrarily, it makes one feel hollow. I hate that. I hate desiring you so much. I hate being at the feet of my own longings . I feel like a slave to a bunch of insects,metaphorical or not. Subduing my whole being ,selling my soul to every bit of these feelings you give me?

And I wonder if you ever feel this way. Is there even a way for me to know? Do you know? Do you know that feeling, sweetheart? If you do , could you tell me why my knees weaken and quiver the second you squint your eyes and smile at me? Why are these butterflies fluttering so restlessly only at the thought slash sight of you?

How I wish it’s a typewriter I’m typing on now. The constant clicking sound and the ring at the end of every line in this passage would sure to drain the exact thing that’s awakening these poor creatures again – the thought of you. I wish it would rain louder now. I wish I had heavy metal now. Go away , mental David !

How naïve. I do apologise. Young, I am. Hopelessly in love , at that. Now, I cannot be certain that this is forever. The day you leave will be the day they complete their life cycle. It will be sad. I will be sad. I would read back on what I have written here and laugh at how ridiculous this all sounds 30 years from now. But if ever I am destined to live a whole life with you then this shall be worth all their unsaid comments on what a shmuck I must be.

Goddammit, I miss you.

You said it, sista !

Have you ever looked into her eyes and know that it’s the pair of eyes you want to look into every morning?

Have you ever felt his hands and know that it’s the pair of hands you want to hold and feel the fire of life burning inside you at the mere touch of it?

Love,love,love. What is it? A question mankind has found difficult to answer.Could words even define it?

Have you ever felt such immense love for someone , much feelings that it hurts? In spite and despite the bad times, you know you could go through the pain a million times simply to forever hold this one person close to your heart and know that he/she will always,always be in the warm embrace of your arms or you in theirs. Because what hurts is not the norm of shedding tears and the fights, rather the fear, the lonesomeness , the insanity , the permanent heartbreak , the boundless nights of missing that manifests eminently at their absence.

Would you say you’re in love then? You know you once fell asleep hugging a pillow pretending in your most absurd fantasies that its him/her you’re holding? You’ve cried with tissues of an infinity on your bed. You’ve gone bonkers laughing at the stupidest things You remember those times you tried to make something special, as detestable as your cooking abilities are. You wrote all those stupid mushy love letters and diary jottings of a deranged lover. The many times you wished you could write a song as well as Hey There Delilah to show how much you love them.You know at the back of your mind you’re remembering that someone who means all this to you..

Love, sweet,sweet passionate love, that blooms to become the force that revolves your entire life around it. That puts you in a state of..delirium. Spiraling around you and lifts you up from the reality of it all. The feeling that leaves you hanging in dead air and the uncertainty of being thrown off at any given time.  Have you ever felt that? Regardless of its contextual meaning to specific people, have you ever felt that strong desire for someone? The infatuation. Young and reckless as we are, the supposed puppy love shenanigans they address it as, you know as wrong and mistaken, as forbidden and as unlikely as it is, it’s the only thing you want to feel for the rest of your contorted life.

I am but a child. 17 , still young and blossoming into a woman of great virtues and understandings of life. I may or may not know what I speak of at this very moment , or at any close proximity to understanding what life means, but I’d like to thank a certain someone for giving me one of the most significant experiences in humanity, you know who you are.

#2 When she misses you, she’s hurting inside.

#3 When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers.

#4 When she walks away from you mad, follow her.

#5 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don’t let her go.

#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.

#8 When she ignores you, give her your attention.

#9 When she pulls away, pull her back.

#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful.

#11 When you see her crying, just hold her and don’t say a word.

#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

#13 When she’s scared, protect her.

#14 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

#15 When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

#16 When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

#17 When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

#18 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

#19 When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

#20 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

#21 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

#22 When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

#23 When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

#24 Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

#25 Don’t let her have the last word.

#26 Don’t call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.

#27 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

#28 Argue that she is the best girl ever.

#29 When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.

#30 When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it, talk to

her about it, because 10 yrs later she’ll still remember it.

#31 Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

#32 Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

#33 Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.

#34 Don’t ignore her when she’s out with you and your friends.

#35 Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.

#36 Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

#37 Let her into your world.

#38 Let her wear your clothes.

#39 When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

#40 Let her know she’s important.

#41 Kiss her in the pouring rain.

#42 When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; “Who’s ass am I kicking today baby?”

It’s true what they say. All good things don’t last.